I'm here to say how I got here
hello hello and welcome to my little world I have created here for us. I just wanted to say thank you for taking the time to honestly truly invest in me and what I have to bring to the table of life. I hope what ever I bring to the table and it could and most likely will be different each day week moment that I am a breathing being but I do want you to know that no matter what I being to the table I am truly trying to bring my best for you and for me and for my heavenly father.
life is funny like not like lol ...ok some times lol but in a way that life likes to teach us lessons in the most out of no where ways, at least. that's how it has been in my life. I feel like I am just hopping and skipping around and than BOM POW I am hit by a semi truck and get to stand up and learn to walk again. and honestly through this whole divorce life turned upside down process I like I have said not only felt like quite honestly a truck load of pain and heart brake and confusion hit me and than backed up and hit me again and again and again about 100000 times but this proses of pain I honestly think it broke me. like I didn't want to eat beicse what ever I ate I just through up form the stress I didn't want t sleep because In my dreams life was good it was what I thought it was going to be how I though it was going to play out than I woke up to this horror show called my life. like of you have seen my vido talking about my divorce I talk about fining my self again finding what makes me laugh what makes me love food again that makes me want to just turn the music up and dance because that honestly is who I am. and yes it was family and yes it was friends who stood by me and would literally bring me food and sit there while I ate it to make shore I actually ate it. yes those people are so big part of the reason why I am here in general its been hard and honestly there was lots of times when I was on my knees praying and just crying my eyes out talking to my heavenly father saying I don't understand my life if you want me to come home, if my time here on earth is or can be up I would be ok with that. I was never in the place where I would have taken my own life but I was at the place where if He my father in heaven needed me home and wanted to take me home I would go. and that could possibly be the reason why when she came out with this shirt and she hoped on to her story and talked though why she did what she did with this original tee she produced I Cryed listening to her story of her why. Honestly if any of you ever message me and tell me the why you love life or the why you want or are a mother or the why you are choosing who you are choosing to be your forever love, I will cry with you too 😂😂 I love and can't get enough of peoples why's in life I find Tham just so powerful.
but that day when Chelsea form lady riot got on her story and told her why of her "im so glad you exist" shirt I just started crying like ugly crying!!! she got on to her story and from what I remember and Chelsea correct me if I'm remembering this story wrong but she got on and pored her heart out about how covid and the past year has just been so hard for people in her life for her self and for the world. and how she knew of people in her life who couldn't handle the weight of the pain life brings and they chose to leave this life. she created this shirt so that you and who ever read the message on that shirt would remember that they were important that they were needed that they were loved.
once again ugly crying here and in just paused and knew that that shirt was yes meant for anyone who read it but it hit me so hard those 5 words hit me like that truck but instead of heart ache and pain I felt alive and the desire to bring back the joys the excitements the things I love back into my life. it made me what to bring what I found and what brought me so much joy and box it up all nice and pretty and give it to you. so were here to find the joy together and where here to where what brings us joy and to make crafts together that bring us joy and create a space where joy is the thing that fulls our fire. so lets grab those marshmallows because our flame of life is about to grow!!!